Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
