I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
