dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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