belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish my penis had an off switch
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
