i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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