So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
