You work out of a Hotel?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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