First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
