I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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