Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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