is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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