omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
