I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize