I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
