You're a womanizer and a bitch.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
