i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
