OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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