i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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