U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
