So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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