I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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