i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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