Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
