I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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