I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
