Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
