New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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