shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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