they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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