In the future we'll all be gay
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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