I wanna bring you to show and tell
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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