STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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