i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
