Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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