Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
