he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
