Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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