she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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