the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Less talking, more tequila
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
