Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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