it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
