whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
