I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
