Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
