I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
