Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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