how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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