Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
