She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
