It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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