He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
