So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
