there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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