he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize