Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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