i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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