I have demons in me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
