we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think my moral compass just broke
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
