Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
