life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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