Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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