His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
