we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
