I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
