We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
