420 ftw
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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