u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
