dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
