eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
