can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
