Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
