I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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